By Hilary Bond PhD . All rights reserved. Copyright.
YODS IN SYNASTRY AND HOW CAN A YOD POINT TO THE NEED FOR A SOUL RETRIEVAL ?
By Hilary Bond PhD . All rights reserved. Copyright.
“All his professional life Chief Inspector Gamache had asked questions and hunted answers. And not just answers, but facts, but to Gamache feelings were more important. They were much more elusive and dangerous than facts, and they were what he really looked for. He looked for people’s feelings, because feelings would lead him to the truth.
Louise Penny. The Long Way Home. Page 4.
Louise Penny’s novel, The Long Way Home” is part of a long series of fascinating books where Peter, Clara’s husband is a minor character. In “the long way home” his wife’s and her friend’s search for Peter is the major theme of the book. The vital clue that the central character, Inspector Gamache, finds, to help Clara find her husband, is the fact that Peter has changed completely by going to Scotland to a place called the “Garden of Cosmic Possibilities” a place where our earthly dimension is at one with a heavenly dimension. It is obvious to totally Gamache that stuffy, staid Peter who painted photographically correct black, white and grey paintings that sold well, had changed when he went to the cosmic garden. In fact, it is obvious to me that he regained his spirit in that wild Scottish landscape. The paintings that Peter left with his Uranian niece or nephew Bean (no one knew Bean’s sex) were wildly colourful and full of smiling lips; copies of the magical “Garden of Cosmic possibilities”. Peter’s vicious, self-centered narcissistic, critical, pompous parents had caused Peter to be a living shadow, skeptical, jealous and critical of his outrageous loving, artist wife, who everyone adored. Clara’s best friend, Myra, a large African-American psychologist had supported Clara emotionally for all the years of her marriage. She too went with Gamache and Clara on their quest to find Peter.
It felt right to be re-reading “The Long Way Home” when I was working with a lovely client whose life had had endless cold water thrown on her by her cold narcissistic father. But how many clients do I have with abusive parents? Lots and lots, in fact all the people who come to me have a history of childhood abuse and emotional neglect. And so many of my client-patients still allow their parents and or siblings to interfere in their lives because they have been brainwashed by these so called carers to deny themselves.
So, as it has been obvious to me for so many years, because of my knowledge of attachment theory, that our lifetime relationships reflect the relationship we had with our parents. Thus, I present to you today with compassion one couple’s relationship with each other and their relationships with their critical parent or caregiver.
Do my clients all have yods? No, but most do. Do they all have failed marriages? No but many do.
WHAT DO YODS IN SYNASTRY LOOK LIKE.
Thwarted feelings. Being stared at because you expressed your feelings, but what is worse: being ignored. When you talk your partner looks at the floor. The shutters go down. There is no one home. It’s impossible to communicate with someone when they have escaped to some other realm. They are sitting next to you, but they are studying the hair on their arms, or picking at their fingernails, looking at the birds through the window. How many years have you endured the robotic, uncaring partner? Or are they unconscious, or perhaps low in sugar. Do they need another cigarette or hit of milk coffee? You can’t scream in anger, its not your way, but what can you do?
“I am stuck,” you think!
Feeling stuck between a rock and a hard place is the sure-fire sign that you have either a synastry yod or one composite chart yod (or more) between you and your partner.
How long is it since you laughed and laughed? Stress steals our joy, leaving us humorless and serious. But lightness and fun haven’t disappeared forever, they may be buried beneath the snow of a long wintery life season, a phase that is not insurmountable. There is life under the snow and we can find it if we look deep beneath the snow, under the earth. Laughter will bloom again. Grasp that hope.
THE PRESENTING PROBLEM
THE SYNASTRY BI-WHEEL YODS IN SUSAN’S AND IAN’S HOROSCOPES.
Susan’s chart with her Pluto at 26 degrees of Leo in the 3rd house is on the outside. Wayne’s chart with his Moon in Cancer at 5 degrees Cancer in his 2nd house is on the inside.
I looked at a partnership that had floundered long ago, and Wayne had left but they kept their house and he eventually came back. After this they stayed together because she was trapped legally by a document she had signed unwittingly. The first document was a bridging loan where an old loan on their house was being changed for a new bank where their mortgage payments were much less expensive. What the husband didn’t mention was that buried under that document was another document where she was to agree to be the guarantor for her husband’s loan for what turned out to be a worthless business. The mortgage payments were huge and five years later the bank rang her and said, “Mrs.…. do you have ten thousand dollars to pay the arrears in your husbands loan repayments.”
This legal bind was horrific for her because she had her Venus in Sagittarius and her Ascendant in Sagittarius. She had planned for years to leave when her daughter left school in 2010. She needed her freedom Her Moon in Libra was ruled by her Venus. Her South Node was in Cancer and her Moon ruled her South Node. It was an astrological spiral where her South Node in Cancer in her 8th house seemed to be the key. Her South Node in Cancer symbolised her toxic family, possible inheritance of money but also past lives, ancestral lives and interdimensional lives. The way out was one or more soul retrievals.
BUT LET’S LOOK AT THE HOPES, DREAMS, FEELINGS AND BEHAVIOUS OF EACH PARTNER IN REGARD TO THEIR YODS IN SYNASTRY.
Susan and Wayne had two yods in synastry.
YOD 1. WAYNE’S VENUS AS THE APEX OF A SYNASTRY YOD WITH SUSAN’S PLUTO AT 26 DEGREES LEO IN WAYNE’S 3RD HOUSE QUINCUNXING WAYNE’S VENUS. WAYNE’S VENUS IS QUINCUNXING SUSAN’S NEPTUNE IN LIBRA IN WAYNE’S 5TH HOUSE.
WAYNE’S VENUS IN PISCES in his 10th house (and Susan’s 4th house) was the apex of a yod. Susan’s Pluto in Leo in his 3rd house quincunxes Wayne’s Venus and her Neptune in Libra also quincunxes Wayne’s Venus.
This seemed to indicate that she could look into his past lives and his subconscious (her Pluto in his 3rd house) but their past lives together kept her stuck in a perpetual bind with him even though he didn’t seem to evolve. With Pluto in his 3rd house and on his IC, he was unconsciously copying his cruel, hard hearted father. Maybe she felt it was delusional or illusional (Neptune quincunx his Venus) because when she looked at him clearly, she was more in love with the idea of being in love and she was in love with a romantic liaison when he really did not love her.
YOD 2. SUSAN’S MERCURY IN THE OUTSIDE WHEEL AT 6 DEGREES AQUARIUS QUINCUNX WAYNE’S MOON IN INSIDE WHEEL AT 5 DEGREES CANCER IN HIS 2ND HOUSE AND SUSAN’S MERCUCRY QUINCUNX WAYNE’S PLUTO AT 3 DEGREES LEO.
SUSAN’S MERCURY IN AQUARIUS in her 3rd house and in Wayne’s 9th house quincunxes Wayne’s Moon in Cancer in his 2nd house and Wayne’s Pluto in in Virgo on his 3rd/4th house and IC.
Susan’s Mercury in Aquarius in his 9th house meant that she had presented him limitless possibilities of evolving in his consciousness and learning to heal, but because of his Pluto on his 3rd/4th house cusp he was frozen in the past, in his relationship with a now dead father, who appeared to have always despised Wayne. Wayne’s behaviour mimicked his father’s emotional and physical cruelty to his wife. Wayne also had not evolved in approximately 20 years of marriage. His cold Moon (opposition Saturn) quincunxing her outgoing, hopeful Mercury swamped her thinking with his gloomy emotions. Wayne’s Moon opposing his Saturn in Capricorn in his 7th house makes him a cold (Saturn) marriage partner (7th house) and this fact is bound up with a past life (Saturn) or Wayne’s father’s teachings or his father’s ancestral heritage. Susan told me that Wayne’s father was an outrageously rude and cruel man who did not want Wayne and may have wanted to put Wayne up for adoption. The family lineage was one of poverty and unmarried mothers.
SUSAN’S VALUES AND BELIEFS
- Vivacious Susan with her Sagittarius ascendant hated deceit. She liked open, clear communication and she expected people to tell the truth. (But Wayne constantly lied and mostly in matters of finance. Susan’s ascendant conjunct her Venus fell in Wayne’ s 7th house, so this was not promising.)
- Susan also had Mercury in Aquarius and consequently she has an eternal thirst for not just knowledge but for spiritual and holistic knowledge (9th) house and she is endlessly innovative, ground-breaking and pioneering in her ways of thinking and thinks outside the proverbial square (Mercury in Aquarius). She listens daily to information and advice from her spiritual (divine and ancestral) guides. She loves to communicate; debate and she loves to see (Mercury in Aquarius) others evolve in consciousness. (But Wayne just liked smoking and drinking coffee with his mates, spending hours watching videos on his computer and fixing machinery. They had no communal friends or social life.)
- Susan’s Moon in her 11th house in Libra means that friends mean a great deal to her. Because of her Moon she values a lack of conflict but does like academic debates where people act in a civilized manner. With her Moon in the 11th house, she values being humane and humanitarian. (Again, although Wayne will stop to help people with their broken-down cars stranded in isolated places, he is just as likely to stop and strip a car that is broken down by the road and then sell the parts. Susan despises such actions. Wayne is also a misogynist and so was his father.)
- Susan’s Neptune on the cusp of her 11th house and 12th house indicates that firstly she likes to have spiritual friends and secondly, friends that are conscious and aware. Because she has her Neptune in Libra she likes being in spiritual groups where people speak together harmoniously without acrimony and conflict. (Waynes friends are other mechanics or fitters and boiler makers. They talk about get rich quick schemes.)
- With her Pluto in Leo in her 10th house conjunction her midheaven she values her own power and determination, but she has been subject to being bullied by her stepmother, one of her siblings, her mother and fellow teachers when she was employed in schools. Her Pluto is the apex of one of her own natal yods and its quincunxes Wayne’s Venus in Pisces, so she gives away her power because she feels sorry for him. However she has lost trust in him because he conned her and this took away her power. She realizes this is codependence and is considering a divorce. (Depending on his mood Wayne can be a critical bully.)
WAYNE’ S VALUES AND BELIEFS
When I have tried to communicate with Wayne it is very difficult. He is not a person who will look you in the eye.
He frequently escapes to smoke cigarettes or have a cup of coffee or milk coffee, so his addicts and habits seem to keep him constantly walled off from the world.
He does have his Sun opposite his Pluto in Virgo and his Moon opposite his Moon so it seems he is carrying a great deal of karmic baggage and with his Saturn in his 8th house the karmic baggage is also his father’s baggage and his ancestral baggage. His Pluto in his 3rd house conjunct his immun coeli seems to confirm this family baggage
His early life was so terrible with no joy. Hi father had insisted there was to be no celebration of Christmas or of anyone’s birthday. The first birthday Susan ever spent with Wayne she gave him a lot of presents and a beautiful lobster lunch and he threw the lot at the wall and stamped out shouting obscenities. Even though he has had many soul retrievals it seems his core self or core identity is missing somehow.
And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household.
Susan’s mother had two sessions of electro-convulsive therapy whilst she was pregnant with Susan. Susan ‘s mother only told her about the fact that she spent time in a lunatic asylum when Susan was 24 after Susan had endured years of severe headaches and vomiting bouts. She never apologised to Susan about the fact that Susan was partially deaf even when she was little. Susan’s mother told her friends that Susan did not concentrate and she never took her to the doctor to check her hearing.
Of course, Susan’s mother, the blueblood Faith, with her impeccable family lineage, blamed Susan’s father. Faith did a lot of blaming. After Faith died when Susan was 61, Susan joined a genealogical company where she could meet genetic relatives. She found out the truth about Faith’s family which had been a deep, dark secret before faith died. Anyone with yods will have ancestral secrets and ancestral problems. These secrets which always are inherited by a family catalyst are yoddish criteria. Yods can also reveal indifferent health and financial problems and of course “I’ll be damned if I do, I’ll be damned if I don’t [Catch22] problems “especially during childhood. Another way of describing these Catch 22 problems is that the person is often caught between a rock and a hard place. (They may not be able to escape an abusive and or emotional or physically neglectful family).
The truth was that Susan’s maternal grandmother ‘s side of the family had a long and heartbreaking history. Yes, Susan’s maternal family were wealthy and socially impeccable but underneath Susan’s maternal ‘s grandmothers’ ancestry was genealogical quicksand.
Susan’s maternal great-great grandfather had escaped from Mexico in the late 1840s and become a seaman on a tramp steamer. He had First Nations American mother and a Spanish-Mexican father. A clever man, he soon became a cook on the steamer. He finally disembarked in Sydney Australia and married a rich English woman. He fathered three children to her. He escaped frequently to the goldfields of Bathurst as a cook to earn money. On one of his returns to Sydney he met another woman, a Scottish woman, who had come alone from Scotland. He married her. He had not divorced his other wife. Legally his act is known as bigamy and in those days, it meant being jailed and returning to the first wife and making sure she had enough money to bring the children up.
Did he return to his first wife? Of course, not and one of his children from his first marriage died of starvation. He was accruing a lot of bad karma wasn’t he.
I don’t have his day or even his month of birth but Susan’s great great grandfather seemed to be a very low-level Neptunian-Sagittarian character, one who escaped endlessly, was a liar and even though he worked hard he was not responsible, but it seems he was charming and he was a hard worker.
Susan’s Spanish-Mexican-First Nation’s American great-great grandfather then changed his name to Norman Jones and disappeared with his new wife to Queensland. It was a long walk to the goldfields and his wife was pregnant. She had the baby at one of the gold fields. They traipsed around Queensland gold fields for close on ten years after having five children, finally returning to the capital city where Norman and his son worked in a coal mine. Then they struck gold. Norman found a job as the chef at a lunatic asylum, the only lunatic asylum in the whole capital. From then on, the whole family worked there. They built a house and prospered. The children all had successful marriages. Did they really? Mmmm? They all still worked at the lunatic asylum. What happened to Norman with his itchy feet?
One day in late 1876 (he was born in 1835 and he still would have been young and handsome and because his children were all attractive) he did not come home. It was as though he had disappeared off the face of the earth. His youngest child was 3 months old.
Susan met a fourth cousin in 2016. They discussed Norman, their common great-great grandfather. Did he leave with a third wife they asked each other? Was he murdered by a lunatic inmate? They had no proof and no real ancestors. Susan’s cousin said the family house had burned down ten years before, so drat, we’ll never know. But Susan did know that Norman was one of the pieces of her yoddish jigsaw.
Susan’s maternal grandmother’s maiden name was German. For typical working people in Germany, who were forced to endure land seizures, unemployment, increased competition from British goods, and the repercussions of the failed German Revolution of 1848, prospects in Australia or the United States seemed bright. Ninety percent of the German immigrants went to the USA where all German cultures and religions mingled. But Susan’s German ancestors weren’t working people. They were aristocrats and Susan’s great-great-great grandfather Hindrich was a Prussian army officer.
Trauma and tragedies create terrible problems for the descendants for the families. Not just stress, trauma. Hindrich and his wife Anna had three older offspring, two girls and one boy and Anna had three wee souls: Hindrich Jnr and his twin Renate and Ernst. Before they left Anna fell ill and had an eye removed. She was only 33 and her husband 54. On the ship out to Australia the conditions were totally lacking in sanitation. Diphtheria killed three quarters of the people aboard and Anna and her little girl were pitched into the sea before they were dead.
Once they landed Hindrich Senior found foster parents for the two tiny boys and took his young male son to find work. The two teenage girls managed to find husbands, but Ernst and Hindrich Jnr never saw their father again. They were abused physically and psychologically by the foster parents and by their teenage years they were both alcoholics. Hindrich married and prospered financially but he died soon after he turned forty from liver and kidney damage (from alcoholism). Ernest was quite brilliant and became very wealthy by running boat services, buying huge swarths of land, establishing timber mills and owning and running restaurants. His wife, the hard-working daughter of a chef made him stop drinking and she ran the financial side of the business, plus she specialized in wedding cakes for European royalty. Ernst’s wife was a workaholic like her Scottish mother. She drove all the children incessantly, until only one stayed, Susan’s grandmother. The other children escaped.
But the war, WWI intervened and Ernest was put in a prisoner of war camp as an enemy alien. His wife died of peritonitis after a year, that same year that her son was blown to bits on the Western Front. Susan’s grandmother was only 22. Her hair went white overnight and she became obsessive about the family business and getting her father out of prison. Two of Susan’s grandmother’s siblings became quite strange and when Susan’s great grandfather Ernest was freed, he went back to drinking until he sank into cancer. Susan’s grandmother never really recovered her sanity. Only the middle son of the five surviving children was sane and normal. In fact, he was a total delight. For twenty years Susan’s grandmother supported her father and worked long hours seven days a week to shore up all the businesses. But when old Ernst died the strange two siblings who had deserted the family bought a court case against Susan’s grandmother, saying their father’s will was unequal. They gossiped and made trouble. Susan’s grandmother tried so hard to raise her youngest brother, who was only nine when his mother died, but he too became an alcoholic and then a bigamist (like his maternal grandfather).
So, now you will have realized that bizarre behaviour comes from a childhood of abuse and emotional neglect? But it can be also inherited from ancestors.
Susan’s grandmother didn’t have time for talking, but she made beautiful clothes for her only child, gave her expensive partners and spoiled her. She sent her to an expensive school. Susan’s mother came home from her expensive school and resented her mother for being so old (she was 50) and cut up her mother’s clothes. Susan’s mother was a lazy woman. She didn’t like working which incensed her mother and Susan’s mother like Susan’s grandmother became a blamer.
After two years of this behaviour Susan’s grandmother had had enough. So, she put Susan’s mother in the “the lunatic asylum.” Have you put two and two together? Yes, it had to be the lunatic asylum where Norman (Susan’s great -great escapist grandfather) was the chef. So, we assume that Susan’s maternal grandmother must have believed that lunatic asylums were good places, therefore she had been brainwashed too or could we be dissemblers and say it was a pleasant family belief. Thus, we know that abuse and neglect in one form or another or perhaps severe trauma must have come down through the generation to Susan’s mother. It was both actually, so now we come back to Susan’s mother.
Addiction’s a terrible thing. It’ll steal your friends, family, career and your sound judgement. It’ll steal your soul. And when there’s nothing left it’ll take your life.
Louise Penny. How The Light Gets In. p. 497
Susan’s mother, a rather twisted mother, who was a medical addict, stole a soul piece of her Susan’s brain because she was jealous of her beauty. (Do people steal soul pieces? Yes, they do and some people give them away too.) Susan’s mother was actually quite beautiful, but she had to be the queen of the hen yard, so he hoped Susan would be retarded. Why? Why on earth would anyone wish their child to be sub-normal. Let me hypothesize.
It seems that Faith (Susan’s mother) decided very early in her life that she could not compete with her brilliant parents. They both represented their state in two sports. Both were very clever and very popular. Susan’s mother couldn’t compete so its’s clear that she aimed low to avoid disappointment. She eventually became a nurse. You ask perhaps, what sort of nurse? Can you guess where she worked? She worked at the family asylum. It was the place to be. Of course, she became a psychiatric nurse because it is easy to assume, she was impressed by the asylum.
Beliefs can often be as strong as brainwashing and abuse.
So, can ghosts be suffocating and draining, parasitic influences as many ancestors hang around families thinking they are protecting people, when they should go back to the light.
Susan did have a father who came from an extraordinary family and he had been bought up and mentored by extraordinary people.
Now let us return to Susan who had begun learning shamanism in her mid-twenties. At that time, she had transiting Chiron quincunxing her natal Neptune and transiting Uranus conjuncting her ascendant in her first house. Transiting Neptune was in her first house. Transiting Pluto, Saturn and Hygeia were sextiling her natal Pluto, but the sextile wasn’t strong enough to keep her on her correct soul path. She did become a counseller though, something she continued throughout her life.
Then she married a very conservative man who could not have coped with such behaviour as learning shamanism.
In the late 1980s and early 1990s she began delving into healing techniques again. She learned Chironic healing and she began Learning some kinesiology techniques some as structure function. Around this time her transiting Pluto conjuncted her Saturn. Saturn and Pluto are two of the most karmic placements in one’s chart so this meant her past life karma was coming through.
Then in 1995 her husband left and she travelled to Glastonbury. Transiting Neptune and Saturn were conjuncting her Sun. Chiron was also sextiling her sun. After visiting Glastonbury, she kept on having spontaneous past life visions of other people and herself.
She has many healing experiences but also romantic turmoil, confusion and she was beset by tricksters. She was conned out of a lot of money. Transiting Neptune and Uranus were also squaring her natal Neptune. She still did not know about grounding and she still had no common sense.
Susan reached her Chiron return in 2005 and felt there was something terribly wrong. Her Chiron was conjunct her Sun, but she never took much notice of the doom and gloom stories about Chiron. She knew she constantly self-sabotaged herself by inadvertently blurting out silly things even though she was brilliant and had achieved a high level of education. She had lost jobs as a university teacher because of her tactlessness. She knew she was gullible and had no common sense. She spent five years going to a shamanic practitioner and then she gave up. Finally, after about eleven years this soul piece and a couple of other soul pieces, that her mother had stolen, came to light when her mother was dying. She had gone back to her old shamanic healer. And finally, with transiting Pluto in mid-Capricorn squaring her Moon the stolen soul pieces came to light. She was devastated, because she had gone deaf as well and lost her career.
But by now she was a highly qualified healer in many modalities something that she never would have done had she not been continually ill and felt she was inexplicably self-sabotaging.
She found it hard to believe her mother could be that rotten and mean. And she was very angry. She found exercise, yoga, walking on the beach and connecting with nature grounding and soothing.
Finally, in the 2017, 208, 2019 and 2020 with Pluto conjuncting her North Node and her Sun Susan has achieved common sense, grounding, she is no longer gullible. She has become financially stable and highly organized. She had lost many, many soul pieces as a child, as a teenager and it wasn’t until her late forties until she began to get her soul pieces back. In her years of healing and learning healing she was given many soul pieces by her divine guides.
Even though after the age of nine Susan’s life became very hard (she and her siblings were beaten regularly because the women looking after them had a violent temper and she disliked the children), Susan’s saving grace had been her beloved paternal grandparents (who now are her guides in the spirit world). Her Nana gave her a loving example of a normal person who believed unfailingly in Jesus, and even though her Granddad had died when she was nine, her Nana stayed alive until she was 36. She also had many loving mentoring school teachers and they arranged to have her looked after at church by loving church elders. Even though Susan’s stepmother blew hot and cold, frequently accused Susan of lying and was jealous, and divisive, there was always delicious food to eat and she did teach Susan to paint and sew. Because of the early love from her grandparents Susan attracted many mentors. Her shamanic mentor Eileen Nauman has been a steady influence for many years. Her father and stepmother’s alternate medical beliefs and her own determination to never give up, no matter how bad things became guiding lights in her life as are his divine guides such as Jesus, the Christ, Mother Mary, Archangel Michael, Raphael and Chamuel.
SOUL JOURNEYS (from his yods) FOR WAYNE
His first past life is PLUTO ON THE CUSP OF HIS 3RD/4TH HOUSE
This lifetime is as a mercenary soldier. The time seems to be around the time of four thousand years ago. It feels like a Roman life but is more likely to have been in ancient Uruk in the area around modern-day Bagdad and we need to remember there were forests and a great deal of vegetation then. He is killed in a battle but he has slaughtered many people in his short life. He seems about age 28. He values wolves a great deal and he has tamed a wolf and always travels with it. He is a loner with only the wolf for company. He does have shamanic powers but uses them to mesmerize and bewitch. His soul piece from that life is with the wolf that is his power animal in this life and his power animal and he enjoy frightening others.
WAYNE’S PAST LIFE FOR HIS MOON IN CANCER AT 5 DEGREES IN HIS 2ND HOUSE
At this time Wayne’s natal moon has been quincunxed by transiting Saturn which means he is totally stuck and needs to consider a change in his values, attitudes and financial situation.
We see “bleak nights with no moon.”
I am told that Wayne is stuck in time.
“Why, “I ask.
I am told, “He has been caught by a wizard-wiseman stealing from others and trying to bewitch someone to do his bidding.”
The wiseman speaks, “I am Bendow the wiseman-magician,” and he points at Wayne, “This young man is a great man’s son, but he has taken the path of darkness, the easy road. Life has always been easy for him. He must learn a lesson.”
“Have you no mercy,” I say.
“No, “he answers calmly. “He has done this too many times; inflicting his power on others.”
He tells me, “Come back in a week.”
I will ask Jesus to help me to do a soul retrieval in one week.
WAYNE’S VENUS IN PISCES AT 24 DEGREES LIFETIME
(At this time Wayne natal Venus is being sextiled by transiting Pluto.)
I seek a soul retrieval for Wayne. I see mist and fog everywhere; everything is thinking murky green like a thick fog around a swamp. Ghouls and ghosts abound; half- people, half dead; half-alive.
I call into the mist and vileness, “Why is this happening?”
I see a figure with a shawl, a hat and staff coming out of the fog. “Who are you?” I call.
“I am Bendow again, the wiseman-magician.”
I ask, “Why are you here? This should be a life of joy and love.”
“No Susan”, he answers.
“I am not Susan” I answer.
“You are here for Susan, surrogate for Susan, so I’ll call you Susan. He has used you and hurt you. You always forgive him. I know your trust has run out. Don’t pretend.” He waits and then adds, “He had a chance. This lifetime was given to him to develop compassion and learn about love. He is a milk sop living in the past. Life is for living. He is being his nasty old Daddy. How boring for you Susan. You are not his Mummy. You have given him the gift of love, but still the sooky baby hurts you. I say, “He needs to grow up quicky and get over himself.”
“The swamp of misery is of his own making. “
“I know of the cave of lost children. Is this swamp of misery a place where stuck soul pieces hide?”
“Yes, “Bendow answers and disappears.
If we want to change enough, we all can call for help to whoever we believe to be our guiding light rather than be stuck in the swamp pf misery. The choice is ours.
I wake up every morning and thank all my divine guides, ancestral guides and power animals. I thank them before I go to sleep.
Doing one act of kindness for another a day is also one of my guiding principles.
With love to all who read this from,