ATTRACTING PEOPLE OF LOVE AND LIGHT: Not attracting toxic people, “emotional plague” people or psychological (psychic) vampires. © Copyright Hilary Bond PhD. All rights reserved.
Attracting people of love and light is vital for an evolutionary, aware life. One of my main jobs in life is to help people to walk the high road; the straight and narrow or their true soul path. To me judgement and prejudice about others; backstabbing and negativity deplete the energy of everyone. People are precious. We all came to earth to have good, healthy, productive relationships and evolve through caring, harmonious relationships. Consequently this article has little snippets and big hunks of information and wisdom about creating an emotionally healthy and love-filled life and by love I mean compassion and unconditional love.
I do hope this article contributes to your ability to attract love.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN CHILDHOOD STAGES ARE UPSET?
Erik Erickson (1902- 1994) worked as an anthropologist and psychoanalyst in Europe. All teachers and psychologists have to study and understand his work. In his view personality development is a psychosocial process. He postulated eight stages from birth to the end of life which include trust, autonomy, initiative, industry, identity, intimacy, Generativity and ego integrity. Many other sociologists and psychologists have expanded on his work. The stages are a process and they build upon each other like learning a language or mathematics.
STAGE ONE. I have discussed stage one from birth to age one before in my articles. Here basic trust in life is indicated by the baby’s capacity to sleep, and eat and excrete in a comfortable relaxed way. If they are ignored, made insecure or harshly handled betrayal, insomnia, eating disorders and constipation may occur later in life. These people may also may be cynical, and betrayed during life.
STAGE TWO OCCURS from age one to three. If toddlers are independent, self-controlled and self-directed they will achieve autonomy. Toilet training plays a major role; learning to control one’s body functions leads to a feeling of control and a sense of independence. Other important events include gaining more control over food choices, toy preferences and clothing selection. Children who successfully complete this stage feel secure and confident, while those who do not are lacking in confidence, and have a sense of inadequacy and shame.
STAGE THREE OCCURS from age three to six. Initiative combines with autonomy to pursue new ideas, goals, tasks and goals. Children begin to assert their power and control over the world through directing play and other social interaction. Children need to begin asserting control and power over the environment by taking initiative by planning activities, accomplishing tasks and facing challenges. During this stage, it is important for caregivers to encourage exploration and to help children make appropriate choices. Caregivers who are discouraging or dismissive may cause children to feel ashamed of themselves and to become overly dependent upon the help of others. Play and imagination takes on an important role at this stage. Children have their sense of initiative reinforced by being given the freedom and encouragement to play. When efforts to engage in physical and imaginative play are stifled by caregivers, children begin to feel that their self-initiated efforts are a source of embarrassment. If the child is treated respectfully they will develop the virtue of purpose in their life.
STAGE FOUR AT AGE 6 TO 12 is a time where a child enters school and develops the capacity to cooperate with others. This stage is called “Industry versus inferiority” because it is time where a child needs to be encouraged by parents and caregivers to feel competent. Through social interaction children begin to develop a sense of pride in their accomplishments and abilities. If they are humiliated, beaten, compared unfavourably with other children and made to feel a failure there will be an unconscious feeling of alienation and lack of social skills for the rest of their life. They may thoughtlessly and unconsciously conform throughout their life too. If this happens there will be no spontaneous joy.
STAGE FIVE: IDENTITY VS ROLE CONFUSION OCCURS AT ADOLESCENCE (AGE 12-19). Teens need to develop a sense of self and personal identity. During adolescence, children are exploring their independence and developing a sense of self. As they make the transition from childhood to adulthood, teens may begin to feel confused or insecure about themselves and how they fit in to society. As they seek to establish a sense of self, teens may experiment with different roles, activities and behaviours. Identity involves a reliable, integrated sense of who one is and a strong sense of self and a feeling of independence and control. Those who remain unsure of their beliefs and desires will insecure and confused about themselves and the future and may remain so. One important virtue of this stage is fidelity and the ability to sustain loyalty through crises and conflicts.
AT STAGE 6 (AGE 19-25) THE CONFLICT IS INTIMACY VS ISOLATION. During this period of time, the major conflict centers on forming intimate, loving relationships with other people. While psychosocial theory is often presented as a series of neatly defined, sequential steps, it is important to remember that each stage contributes to the next. For example, Erikson believed that having a fully formed sense of self (established during the identity versus confusion stage) is essential to being able to form intimate relationships. He suggests strong identity is necessary for real intimacy demands sacrifice, accurate empathy, correct identification of emotional signals and compromise, which means knowing who you are. Studies have demonstrated that those with a poor sense of self tend to have less committed relationships and are more likely to suffer emotional isolation, loneliness, and depression. Erikson believed it was vital that people develop close, committed relationships with other people. Success leads to strong relationships, while failure results in loneliness and isolation.
STAGE 7 AGES 25-50 IS GENERATIVITY VS STAGNATION. Astrologers will note that this stage includes our Saturn Return, our Uranus return and our Chiron return. Erikson suggests that successful resolution of this stage brings the virtue of care or concern for others and the feeling that one’s work, family life and other activities are both personally satisfying and socially meaningful in ways that contribute to future generations. Those who are successful during this phase will feel that they are contributing to the world by being active in their home and community.
STAGE 8. AGE 50 AND ONWARDS IS THE STAGE OF EGO INTEGRITY VS DESPAIR.
During this period of time, people reflect back on the life they have lived and come away with either a sense of fulfilment from a life well lived or a sense of regret and despair over a life misspent. Those who feel proud of their accomplishments will feel a sense of integrity. Successfully completing this phase means looking back with few regrets and a general feeling of satisfaction. These individuals will attain wisdom, even when confronting death. Those who feel proud of their accomplishments will feel a sense of integrity. Successfully completing this phase means looking back with few regrets and a general feeling of satisfaction. These individuals will attain wisdom, even when confronting death. Those who are unsuccessful during this phase will feel that their life has been wasted and will experience many regrets. The individual will be left with feelings of bitterness and despair. Individuals who are content at this age may also be volunteers in their local or world community; be mentors at schools or universities; look after grandchildren.
From these explanations of positive people and the choices we make through life I now look at the damage toxic people can do as a result of not being aware and conscious in their lives. We all do have a choice to improve, evolve and be aware and you would not be reading this article if you were not attempting to increase your self-awareness.
WHAT IS EMOTIONAL PLAGUE?
Before Lillian Glass wrote her book on “Attracting Terrific People” she also wrote a book called “Toxic People: Ten ways of dealing with people who make your life miserable.” My brother recently pointed out to me the term “emotional plague” in a book called People Skills by Robert Bolton PhD. I used this excellent book which, is jam packed with information about good communication techniques, as an introductory text when I taught Human Welfare at university. Bolton used the term “emotional plague” on page 214, in a chapter on “Conflict Management Skills.” The term was coined by a famous psychiatrist, William Reich, who was a contemporary of Sigmund Freud. Emotional plague was the original synonym for “emotional toxicity” and “psychological vampiring.” The chapter on “Emotional Plague” originally appeared as Chapter 16 of Reich’s book ‘Character Analysis.’
Bolton suggests that: “[Emotional plague] is the affliction of people who behave in destructive ways to those who pose no threat to them. “Plague” individuals may be attractive, intelligent and active. When they come in contact with a healthy loving life or someone intensively involved in constructive work they do whatever they can to block or destroy the other’s fulfilment. “Emotional plague like some diseases should be treated with isolation. I choose not to allow these people into my organisation or admit them into my relationships. When these people are finally discovered they need to be fired from the organisation and any relationship with them terminated.”
THE ASTROLOGY OF EMOTIONAL PLAGUE.
I often spend at least two weeks writing my articles as I like to think about them and dream about each article and let them mature like ripe fruit. After a discussion with a delightful friend I realised that the goddess Eris, in her troublemaker role in the wedding of Peleus and Thetis embodies “emotional plague.” Negative archetype Eris people love to stir up trouble. They feed like parasites, leeches, ticks or vampires on your emotions and reactions. They love to create discord so they can “feed” on the animosity and melodrama that is created. For people who don’t know the ancient Greek Goddess Eris, she is known in a present day archetype as Maleficent or the thirteenth fairy by Walt Disney. She is the mischief maker, who is never invited to any party, wedding, Christening of a new baby or celebration. She is unpopular and scorned because she creates bitterness, animosity and she can create death. In the Greek myth she is an attention seeker on a massive level and bangs her head on the floor, because no one takes any notice of her. She creates a storm in a tea cup and makes little incidents huge, like the death of Austrian Arch Duke at Sarajevo creating WWI. So for all the astrologers reading this she is the sister of Aries (Mars) and she is invited to the wedding Juno and Chiron engineered. She created not just a bad smell; a nasty argument; horrible jealousy and a catty fight between women (three goddesses) but she causes the Trojan War and Eris is there for ten years revelling in and encouraging the slaughter and bloodshed. So Eris really is an emotional vampire. So you may find if your have inner planets or your luminaries closely aspecting Eris in your chart you may have to watch out for trouble makers. I do and I have done a great deal of ancestral regression and past life healings to eliminate this possibility, plus soul retrieval from a gifted shamanic practitioner. It seems that if you have Eris negatively aspecting your Sun or Moon the Eris persona has come down through your family. The Eris archetype, I have found, appears in a few ways. First as a trouble maker or violent person; second, as a person who has violence or discord thrust on them; third as a person who writes about murder or discord or acts out these (such as Agatha Christie, John Grisham or Clint Eastwood) or fourth as a person, such as a policeperson, detective, lawyer, psychiatrist, prison warder or social worker who works with violent people. You might want to examine this and remediate it.
Eris and William Reich’s idea of “emotional plague” sounds remarkably similar to any discussion on “energy vampires”, “psychological vampires” or spirit possession (Lyn Koiner; Joe Slate, 2004; William Baldwin PhD; Edith Fiore PhD, Betsy Bergstrom, Michael Harmer PhD and Samuel Sagan PhD.) I won’t talk about spirit possession in this article, but psychic vampires or “people who have “emotional plague” are said to be people who drain “life force” or willpower from a susceptible person. Most authors allege that a psychic vampire refers to the persons in your life who seem to be all take and no give; who drain your energies through relentless demands and taking advantage of you, leaving you feeling vulnerable; lacking in confidence, shaken, exhausted and depleted in energy. It is good to gain wisdom about not being gullible around people take advantage of you easily or your friends who drain you haven’t learned to control their negative, unhappy personalities.
Slate suggests psychological vampiring or emotional plague it may also occur as self-sabotage through being a professional victim or maintaining phobias and obsessions. Slate also suggests there may be “narcissistic vampires, schizoid vampires, paranoid vampires, antisocial vampires, addictive vampires and cyberspace vampires” (pp.49-52.)
Astrologer, Janet Kane, has observed that people who had vampire parents often have Neptune afflicting their natal Sun-Moon-Mercury-Venus. I have observed that such aspects cause a lack of boundaries (often at the etheric level; leaks in the etheric web) where a parent is concerned. One could see this situation in Charles Dickens novel Great Expectations where Miss Haversham taught Estella to be a man hater. Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s father also weakened her until Robert Browning fell in love with her and whisked her away. Agatha Christie’s stories about Miss Marple features these nasty old bloodsucking mothers or fathers who keep all their children at home til the children are sixty years old and totally cut off from the real world. 8th House and Scorpio energies can signify a vampire but, be assured, not all 8th House or Scorpio people are energy vampires. Psychological vampires have strong entitlement issues as a result of the 8th House tendencies. They can be very demanding, but so can people with challenging Moon-Pluto or Moon-Saturn aspects and low awareness. They can be very manipulative and cruel in a deceptive way so people outside the relationship, family, tribe, cult or country do not know what is happening.
Individual psychological vampires do not own their Pluto. Enmeshed families who have dark secrets and Plutonic behaviour, Pluto in the 4th house behaviour, act like a big blob of psychological vampiring. The deep, dark secrets might include the fact that maybe Grandmother Edna was a prostitute before she married grandfather; possibly Grandfather George died of syphilis in an insane asylum, not of a heart attack; perhaps Grandma Mary-Jane tried to murder Mum with an axe when Mum was little, that’s why Mum grew up with Auntie Mary; Mum did tell not Dad that she had an illegitimate child to a priest and had the baby adopted before she married Dad and lastly the family didn’t know that Grandad Eddy was a burglar, not a police inspector. Astrologer Liz Greene talks about such shadow behaviour in her book The Astrology of Fate and writes about a family who had three generations of Leo women pretending to be quiet, genteel women, while the 4th generation was an autistic child, another Leo and her sister, also a Leo who became a psychologist.
We could call them “emotional plague families. Not owning your Pluto means not acknowledging your shadow side basically; your darkness, your base instincts, and your depth. If you don’t have a conscious relationship with your own shadow it becomes dissociated from your total self. Consequently, you may attract your own darkness from the outside. You may attract abusive and domineering partners. Our shadow or our dark Pluto characteristics are what we are not aware of. In the Johari Window diagram in psychology what we do not see in this sector are those things hidden in our subconscious or politely tucked away, because we want to be socially acceptable. Our shadow has a way of controlling us or entering our lives anyway. Just be honest, own your shadow and realize that you have a desire for power, sex, darkness or whatever. It’s really nothing to be ashamed of and there’s room for all our colours. When people or families attempt to hide those things that they treat as shameful secrets they become manipulative. The other option is having a sense of humour and accepting yourself; then deciding how much to indulge yourself. If you are playing an unrealistic pie-in-the-sky Pollyanna personality, you surely will attract Voldemort as a way of waking you up to your own human nature. Why not embrace the healthy middle ground?
What “emotional plague” people drain from others is not satisfying so that continually want more. Lyn Koiner also calls these psychological vampires “toxic people. And on the yang note of Lyn Koiner’s yin note Sandra Ingerman has written the most beautiful book on “How to Deal with Toxic Thoughts” (2007.)
Lyn Koiner warns astrologers: “When a client comes to you, feeling like they will die without the person whom they are seeing, when they cannot break away, when they feel deflated and exhausted by the relationship. Warn them! This is a vampire. They must get away now!”
There are many people with Venus, Mars or Mercury in Pisces or Moon aspecting Neptune or Sun aspecting Chiron, who are inherently sympathetic and caring, but if you are one of these people and you have suffered psychological, physical or spiritual (cult) abuse and neglect as a child; were abandoned emotionally or physically and /or had a parent who is helpless and vulnerable themselves, then Lyn Koiner’s advice is correct. Run away quickly! You need to have total emotional intelligence, social cognition and interpersonal competence to deal with people who are practised in manipulation or they will drain you or press all your emotional buttons. Therefore unless you have had considerable psychotherapy, dealings with a welfare worker or community worker or social worker trained in reconfiguring old unresolved losses, traumas and memories so they become more tolerable and less distressing, it is wise to stay away from toxic people.
Toxic people are totally unaware and just running on an “unemotional plague” programme from their childhood. If they had no love, hugs or kisses as a child they will find ways of getting the energy they need. As a counsellor I have had considerable experience with these people. In jargonese they usually have “a hide like a rhinoceros.” It does not matter how many times you say, “Do not email me anymore,” or “continually emailing me or telephoning me outside appointments is stalking and this is a police matter if you continue” they keep doing it. So do not think for a moment you are being “hard-hearted.” You must emotionally starve them. No contact! Do not answer their emails or telephone calls.
I suspect many of the people Reich labels as having “emotional plague” are psychopathic by nature. This means their amygdala and hippocampus in their brains is wired differently to the normal people with empathy and feelings.
• Psychopaths have no remorse.
• They have great charm which they use to manipulate and destroy
• They have a grandiose sense of worth and some of these inflated people could be said to be narcissistic
• They have a low threshold of boredom
• They are inveterate liars
• They are confidence artists which means they seduce people into schemes
• They have a lack of empathy and instead of a heart there is a void
• They have a parasitic lifestyle and no sense of self-responsibility
• They have an inability to form close relationships
• Liz Greene suggests that they may well have a Venus –Saturn conjunction in their 12th house indicating that their pattern of isolation, inhibition of affection and limited love or conditional love has been at work in their family psyche for many generations. This is course does not mean that all people with Venus-Saturn in the 12th house is a psychopath. Psychopathy only begins in a certain family context and a horoscope must have many echoes of the remorseless, cruel personality.
Basically the people whom Reich suggested had “emotional plague” were trouble makers. Reich believed that vampires had no or low orgone and that is why they needed other people’s energy and why they were so negative. Reich’s idea of orgone or life force was closely associated with sexuality. Reich, following Freud, saw nascent sexuality as the primary energetic force of life. The term itself was chosen to share a root with the word orgasm, which both Reich and Freud took to be a fundamental expression of psychological health. This focus on sexuality, while acceptable in the clinical perspective of Viennese psychoanalytic circles, scandalized the conservative American public, but it appealed to countercultural figures like William S. Burroughs and Jack Kerouac. So in the section below I have taken Reich’s most important statement on his idea “emotional plague” from a 26 page chapter from his book on “Character Analysis.” I suspect that Reich had a Scorpio Ascendant which would have placed his Chiron in Scorpio at 13 degrees and his Uranus at 28 degrees. His persona definitely encapsulated both Chironic and Uranian tendencies. His Sun in Aries would have been in the romantic 5th house and his Mars and Neptune in the 8th house of sex.
WILLIAM REICH’S SUMMARISED ARTICLE.
The term “emotional plague” is not a derogatory phrase. It does not denote conscious malevolence, moral or biological degeneracy or immorality. An organism whose natural mobility has been continually thwarted from birth develops artificial forms of movement. It limps or walks on crutches. In the same way, a man goes through life on the crutches of the emotional plague when the natural self-regulating life expressions are suppressed from birth. The person afflicted with the emotional plague limps in his social life, his character and emotions. The emotional plague is a chronic biopathy of the organism. It has been an endemic disease which has been tormenting people the world over for thousands of years. According to our knowledge, it is implanted in the child from the first days of life. It is an endemic illness, like schizophrenia or cancer, with one notable difference, i.e., it is essentially manifested in social life. Epidemic outbreaks of the emotional plague become manifest in widespread and violent breakthroughs of sadism and criminality, on a small and large scale. One such epidemic outbreak was the Catholic Inquisition of the Middle Ages and the international fascism of Nazism in the twentieth century is another.
The basic biopathic nature of the emotional plague is revealed in the fact that, like every other biopathy, it can be cured by establishing the natural capacity for love. We sometimes hear it said among orgonomists: “No sense wasting your time with me today, I’m pesty.” In our circle, when someone is afflicted with a minor case of the emotional plague, he deals with it by isolating himself and waiting until the attack of irrationalism passes. In acute cases, where rational thinking and friendly advice are of no avail, orgone therapy is used to remove the infection. The acute attack of the emotional plague is such a familiar phenomenon to me and to my circle of co-workers that we accept it as a matter of course and deal with it objectively. It is extremely important for students of orgone therapy to learn to perceive acute attacks of the plague in themselves before such attacks go too far, to know how to keep such attacks from getting the best of them, to prevent them from spreading into the social environment and causing damage there, and, by means of intellectual detachment, to wait until they pass. In this way, we succeed in keeping harmful effects in our cooperative work at a minimum. Sometimes such an attack cannot be dealt with and the afflicted person causes a certain amount of harm or even resigns. We take such misfortunes in the same way one would take the acute physical ailment or demise of a beloved colleague.
The emotional plague is more closely related to character neurosis than to organic heart disease, for example, but it can lead to cancer or heart disease in the long run. Just like the character neurosis, it is sustained by secondary drives. How do we recognize a plague reaction and how do we distinguish it from a rational reaction? The answer is that we distinguish it in the same way that we distinguish a rational reaction from the reaction of a neurotic character: as soon as the roots or motives of the plague-afflicted reaction are touched, the result is invariably anxiety or anger.
A man who is essentially free of the emotional plague and is orgastically potent, is not overcome by fear when a physician discusses the dynamics of natural life processes. On the contrary, he develops a lively interest in such a discussion. The man afflicted with the emotional plague will become restless or angry when the mechanisms of the emotional plague are discussed. Orgastic impotence does not always lead to the emotional plague, but every person afflicted with the emotional plague is either lastingly orgastically impotent or becomes impotent shortly before the attack. This makes it easy to distinguish the plague reaction from rational reactions.
There is no rational means of “curing,” i.e., disturbing, a happy love relationship. But a neurotic symptom can always be eliminated. A plague reaction is accessible to and can be eliminated by the genuine character-analytic art of healing. This is how we recognize it. Thus, avarice, a typical character trait of the emotional plague, can be cured, but pecuniary generosity cannot be cured. Insidious cunning can be cured; openness cannot be cured.
An essential and basic characteristic of the emotional plague reaction is that action and the motive of the action never coincide. The real motive is concealed and a sham motive is given as the reason for the action. In the reaction of the natural and healthy individual, motive, action, and goal form an organic unity. Nothing is concealed. This unity is immediately evident.
The healthy person will not want to impose his way of life on anyone, but he will cure and he will help others when he is asked and when he is capable. The person afflicted with the emotional plague is distinguished from the healthy individual by the fact that he makes his demands of life not only on himself but, above all, on his environment. In situations in which the healthy individual makes suggestions and helps, in which he uses his experiences as an example to others, leaving it up to them whether they want to follow, the person afflicted with the emotional plague imposes his mode of life upon others by force. Individuals afflicted with the emotional plague do not tolerate views which threaten their armour or unmask their irrational motives. The plague-afflicted individual is seized by frenzy. When views contrary to his own disrupt his life and work, the healthy individual puts up a strong rational fight for the preservation of his way of life. The plague-afflicted person fights against other modes of life even when they don’t concern him in any way whatever. He is impelled to fight because he senses the very existence of other ways of life as a provocation.
Susceptibility to the emotional plague is universal. There is no clear-cut line of distinction between those afflicted with and those uncontaminated by the plague. Just as every man somewhere in the depths is susceptible to cancer, schizophrenia, or alcoholism, so even the healthiest and most life-affirming among us is susceptible to irrational plague reactions.
We see that it is precisely the most important spheres of life in which the emotional plague is active: mysticism in its most destructive form; passive and active thirst for authority; moralism; biopathies of the autonomic nervous system; party politicking; sadistic methods of education; masochistic toleration of such methods or criminal rebellion against them; gossip and defamation; authoritarian bureaucracy; imperialistic war ideologies; everything that falls under the American concept of “racket”; antisocial criminality; pornography; profiteering; and racial hatred. We see that the compass of the emotional plague coincides approximately with the broad compass of social abuse, which has always been and still is combatted by every social freedom movement. For example, a mother who resorts to political methods to alienate her child from her husband would come under this extended concept of the political emotional plague. The same would apply to an ambitious scientist who works himself up to a higher social position not by concrete accomplishments but by intrigue.
The individual afflicted with the emotional plague is not content to take a passive attitude; he is distinguished from the neurotic character by a more or less life-destructive social activity. His thinking is completely muddled by irrational concepts and governed almost exclusively by irrational emotions.
But the plague-afflicted individual, protected by his subjective conviction, does not suffer from insight into the harmfulness of his act. A father who, out of hatred for his wife (who, let us say, was unfaithful to him), demands custody of their child is seriously convinced that he is acting “in the best interest of the child.” But if the child suffers under the separation from the mother or even begins to go to pieces, such a father will prove to be totally impervious to any form of remedy. The plague-afflicted father will find all kinds of superficial arguments in support of his conviction that he “means well” by the child in keeping him away from his mother. It will be out of the question to convince him that the real motive is sadistic punishment of the mother.
The person afflicted with the emotional plague, in contrast to the neurotic character, always develops as a part of his structure envy coupled with a deadly hatred of everything healthy. A character-neurotic spinster lives a resigned life and does not interfere in the love life of young girls; a plague-afflicted spinster, on the other hand, cannot endure the sexual happiness of young girls. If such a spinster is a teacher, she will be sure to make the girls entrusted to her care incapable of experiencing sexual happiness. This holds true for every life situation. The character afflicted with the emotional plague will attempt, under all circumstances and with every available means, to change his environment so that his way of life and his way of seeing things are not jeopardized. He senses everything that is at variance with his way of life as a provocation and, therefore, persecutes it with bitter hatred. The ascetic is a good illustration. Under one guise or another, the ascetic’s basic attitude is: “Why should others have it any better than I had it? Let them suffer as I suffer.” The plague-ridden individual cannot be anything but pornographically lascivious and sadistically moralistic at the same time.
This is the core of the character structure of the plague-afflicted person. This structure develops bitter hatred against every process which provokes its own orgastic yearning and, hence, orgasm anxiety. The demand for asceticism is directed not only against oneself but, above all and in a sadistic way, against the natural sexuality of others. Persons afflicted with the emotional plague have a strong tendency to form social circles. These circles become centers for the moulding of public opinion.
The work of the neurotic character, no matter how rich in potential it may be, is perfunctory and joyless. Since the neurotic character is incapable of genuine enthusiasm, he will look upon the child’s capacity for enthusiasm as “unseemly” (if, for instance, he happens to be a teacher). In a compulsive neurotic way, nonetheless, he insists on determining the work of others.
The individual afflicted with the emotional plague hates work, for he senses it as a burden. Hence, he runs away from any responsibility and especially from small jobs which require patience. He may dream of writing an important book, of painting an outstanding work of art, of running a farm, etc.; however, since he is incapable of work, he shuns the necessary step-by-step, persistent organic development inherent in every work process. This predisposes him to becoming an ideologue, mystic, or politician, i.e., to engage in activities which do not require any patience and organic development. The character afflicted with the emotional plague will typically want to work less than the others. The smaller his capacity for work and, consequently, the lower his self-esteem, the greater is his insistence on being a labour leader.
Experiences in orgone therapy leave no doubt that persons afflicted with the emotional plague, those who come under the psychiatric concept of “moral insanity,” are not only curable in principle but are capable of developing exceptional capacities for work, sexuality, and intellectual activity.
Father and mother fight for the healthy development of the child with rational arguments and means. It is possible that they agree in principle, then it is easy; but it is also possible that they will have very different ideas about the matter. Nonetheless, in the interest of the child, they will shun underhanded methods. They will speak openly with the child and allow him to make his own decision. They will not allow themselves to be governed by selfish interests; they will, instead, be guided by the child’s inclinations. When one or the other parent is an alcoholic or is mentally ill, this information will be communicated to the child as a misfortune that has to be borne bravely, taking the greatest possible care to spare his feelings. The motive will always be to prevent the child from being damaged. The attitude is dictated by the sacrifice of one’s personal interest.
The fight for the child is inhibited by all kinds of considerations, essentially fear of public opinion. Conformity to public opinion takes precedence over the child’s best interest. When one of the parents is a drinker or is mentally ill, then the tendency exists to sacrifice oneself, to conceal the fact, with the result that the child as well as the older parent suffer and are endangered. Divorce is avoided. The motive of their behaviour is epitomized in the sentence, “We don’t want to make a stir.” Their attitude is determined by resignation.
The welfare of the child is always a spurious and, as the results show, unfulfilled motive. The real motive is to wreak revenge on the partner by depriving him or her of the pleasure of the child. Hence, in the fight for the child, one partner resorts to defamation of the other, whether he or she is healthy or sick. The absence of any consideration for the child is brought out by the fact that his love for the other parent is not taken into account. As a means of alienating the child from one or the other parent, he is told that his mother or his father is an alcoholic or is mentally ill, a statement which usually does not correspond to the facts of the case. The result is that the child is the one who suffers most; the motive is revenge on the partner and domination of the child. Genuine love for the child is not at issue.
There is any number of variations on this example, but its basic features are the same and they are of general social importance. In making decisions, a rational jurisprudence would have to give priority to such differentiations. It can be assumed that there will be a significant increase in the number of divorces; and it is my opinion that only a correctly trained psychiatrist and educator is capable of measuring the extent of the damage caused solely by emotional plague reactions in cases of divorce.
As a rule, infidelity occurs not for reasons of love for another person but because one has become weary of one’s partner. The injured party attempts to hold the partner in the house, to wear him or her out with hysterical attacks, dominate him or her with scenes of the lowest sort, or even have him or her watched by a detective. Flight into alcoholism often occurs as a means of facilitating the brutalizing of the partner. The motive is not love for the partner but thirst for power and possessiveness. Reactions of emotional plague are quite prevalent in tragedies of jealousy.
Historically, “emotional plague be the motive behind the ‘divide and conquer’ tactic used by many colonial nations and colonial churches, who will profit economically from the physical, spiritual, and psychological destruction of the Indigenous people who are pushed off their land. These organisations or countries want land and economic gains, thus they need to totally destroy the Indigenous people of that land or continent. It is done mostly, by introducing alcohol or drugs of some kind; then herding them into reserves (that resemble concentration camps), so the Indigenous people cannot think for themselves and they become mentally impractical. A number of warring tribes are sent to the same reserve so they fight amongst themselves. Secondly, the destruction of a family or Indigenous people is done by rumour mongering on a wide scale so that the conquered people are seen to be low in mentality, morals and behaviour. On a family, political or community level a whispering campaign or rumour campaign lessens the reputation of those the whisperers need to destroy. The whispering party introduces derogatory racial or class stereotypes. They inevitably introduce stereotypes which make the party they want to destroy as mentally inferior, morally inferior or aggressive on some level. Ie trouble makers. On this level of whispering and rumour mongering it creates conflict, hate between each party, physical fights and wars. This will go on for generations if it is not stopped. It is begun in a family to supress joy and happy relationships and this may go back generations and forward to the descendants because it is a learned behaviour. The whispering campaigns will spread by word of mouth, and the media in all forms. They blame, they point fingers and they whisper, because essentially they are cowards and they want power, control and money for nothing. The Nazi party was a perfect example of emotional plague because they wanted Jewish money; so are remittance men.”
NOW FOR THE GOOD NEWS
I introduce suggestions from Sandra Ingerman, Lillian Glass, Lyn Koiner and me on how to be non-toxic; how to attract terrific people; how to defend yourself around toxic people, people infected with “emotional plagues” and how to frustrate psychological vampires. This may sound weird, but lots of clear natural energy is great.
First, I introduce Lyn Koiner on “How to Frustrate a Vampire:”
1. Develop healthy boundaries for yourself.
2. Never give them personal information; respond to their questions with your own questions.
3. Keep yourself focused upon your own positive creativity.
4. Never engage with these people. Remain aloof.
5. “Cut off their head” – since they live in their heads, having no heart connection, this is the source of their power. Question their intelligence.
6. Stay conscious! These people are stopped in their tracks by the Light of Consciousness. Show them what they are. Respond that you are feeling drained by them.
7. When you feel drained by a person, a class or a speaker, just get up and walk away. This is staying conscious.
Some other defensive mechanisms for people who deplete your energy:
• Pink has a soothing, loving energy, so when you find yourself around an angry, negative person, close your eyes for a moment and imagine enveloping them in pink cotton candy. Permeate their energy with the loving light of pink, and watch their anger gradually dissolving.
• At the heart of the negativity of an Energy Vampire is fear, doubt and insecurity, consequently, the more you live a spiritual, ethical life, the less attracted these toxic people will be to you. Act from a place of love, act with kindness and compassion always, and you will always be surrounded by a white light of love, protection and guidance.
• Grounding and centering yourself makes you confident in who you are. Begin by sitting comfortably in a quiet place with your feet on the floor. Close your eyes and take deep breaths. Visualize yourself as a tree. As you breathe out, push the roots of the tree down deep into the earth. As you breathe in, extend your branches higher and higher into the air, until you are connected to both heaven and earth. Keep doing this until you feel a sense of one-ness, completeness, and confidence. If you find yourself having trouble with this part of the exercise it can be very beneficial to ask your guardian angels or spirit guides for help.
• Build the Shields. Now, picture a cocoon sphere of pure energy surrounding you. The intention will be “I am guarded from all negative psychic energy.” Trust your soul to know the difference between loving and negative energy. You should feel cocooned and safe. Renew your shields daily by repeating the exercises we’ve gone over here.
But while we can “defend ourselves from toxic people I would much rather be proactive; wouldn’t you so here are some suggestions
• Accept yourself and make a list of your talents and strengths. You’ll be surprised.
• Find ways of experiencing the infinite life force within yourself and the cosmos.
• Embrace the ghosts of your past and as your wise self to come forward and praise them for their courage.
• Replace fear with faith in God and your spiritual guides and trust in your archangel guides.
• Renounce self-contempt, self-sabotage, self-underestimation
• Be realistic and tolerant in your demands of yourself.
• Be involved in helping others
RULES FOR REKINDLING A ONCE TERIFIC RELATIONSHIP
1. Let go of past guilt, recrimination and hard feelings.
2. Listen openly to the other person’s point of view objectively.
3. Do not be on the defensive.
4. Do not blame. Forget about whose fault it was.
5. Admit your mistakes readily. Apologise openly.
6. Never verbally attack or threaten the other person.
• Use “I” statements, not “you” statements.
• Be conscious of tone of voice. Be warm and never sarcastic.
Stick to current issues. Never rehash the past, no matter how much it hurt.
Well that is it from me this time. There is more to write about in Part Two of this article. I hope this has helped, even if it is in some small way.
Best Wishes from Star Counsell.
Bolton, Robert (1987.) People Skills: How to assert yourself, listen to others and resolve conflicts. Simon & Schuster: Sydney, Australia.
Lillian Glass. (1996.) Attracting Terrific People: How to find and keep the people who bring your life joy. St Martin’s Press: New York.
Greene, Liz (2003.) The Dark of the Soul. Centre for Psychological Astrology Press: London.
Greene, Liz (2002.) Barriers and Boundaries. Centre for Psychological Astrology Press: London.
Janet Kane. Confronting the Dark Archetype: Neptune and the Mythic Vampire. To purchase a typed copy of the complete lecture, contact her at email@example.com.
Lyn Koiner. The Psychological Vampire, Astrologically Viewed.
Harville Hendrix & Helen La Kelly Hunt. (2005.) Receiving Love: Transform Your Relationship by Letting Yourself Be Loved. Simon & Schuster: Sydney, Australia.
Hoffnung, M.; Hoffnung, R.; Seifert. K.; Burton Smith R.; Hine, A.; Ward, L. & Quinn, A. (2010.) Lifespan Development. John Wiley & Sons: Milton, Qld, Australia.
Howe, David (2005.) Child Abuse and Neglect: Attachment, Development and Intervention. Palgrave Macmillan: New York.
William Reich books and materials. http://www.orgonelab.org/cart/naturalenergy.html